I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
