It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
