I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
