it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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