Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
