I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
