Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
