I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
