I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if only i could text you this smell
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
