dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
