Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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