I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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