I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
