So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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