Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
