i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
