Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
