and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
