he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
