I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
