He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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