I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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