It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
