Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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