I'm jealous of your bromance
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
