I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
