I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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