After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
