so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
