Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
