Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
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