I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
