he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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