Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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