We named our party play list daddy issues
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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