i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
