I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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