Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
