i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
