After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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