I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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