My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
