I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
