So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
