Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
