if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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