I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
