I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
