I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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