Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
