If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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